Counseling Center

Tips for parents from a college counselor - these are just some rambling general thoughts and themes that I have noted through 26 years of counseling college students.

Our students don’t become college students immediately when they get here. They start out as high school students who are attending college. It takes time to learn how to be a college student, generally about a semester. As a parent it can be really difficult to know when to step in and help, when to take a step back, and how to know exactly how worried to be. It also takes some time to learn how to be the parent of a college student. Shoot for providing and maintaining a steady and supportive home base. Be there when they ask for and need help. Follow their lead in dealing with their growing independence. It can be a challenge when they come home for the first time. They have gotten used to not having a curfew and not having to answer to anyone. Trying to impose the same old rules generally doesn’t work out so well. Think about compromises.

When students complain to me that their parents want to know where they are going and when they will be home I tell them, of course they do, they’re your parents and they are going to worry about you a lot more than your roommate. When you are at home you should let your parents know when you will be home and call or text them if that changes. It is generally good advice to encourage your daughter or son to not come home for the first few weeks and to stay at college as much as possible to give them the best opportunity to quickly adjust to college. Except if they are really struggling and maybe getting depressed. In those cases I often tell the student to go home every weekend if that helps and sometimes I will encourage a parent or sibling to come visit sometime during the week.

If you are worried that your son or daughter is experiencing difficulties more serious than just being homesick, encourage them to make an appointment with the counseling center. If needed, you can call us to consult with us. If we are already seeing your daughter or son, because of confidentiality laws, we may not be able to share any information with you. We need to have a signed release of confidential information in order to do that. Please ask your son or daughter to sign one of those if you need to talk to us. Even if we don’t have a release we can always listen if you are worried or have concerns. We will act on the information you provide if we can.

Submitted by Dr. Ron Kline, Director of Counseling, 610-861-1510, https://www.moravian.edu/counseling